No Awareness Of Safety

Thursday Morning. Woke him up at 7:30 AM, as usual he whined when I was trying to get him brush his teeth; but today he kept whining while I put on lotion on his body and dressed him up. When I carried him out the door he whined again, “I want to turn off the light”, so I put him down on the bench, ran back to the bed room to turn off the light.

Taking him on his stroller to school. At the traffic light stop, as usual he always wants to press the button on the pole so I took him there; and he pressed it. When the walk light was on, I started to push the stroller, and he started to whine and put his feet down on the ground that I could not push the stroller: he wanted to push the button again! Of course, we missed that walk light so had to wait for the next walk light.

It did not end there, we finally got to the school gate, Ms. Newman and Sandy were busy picking up his friends from the bus, I un-buckled his seat bell and was getting his backpack out of the stroller, he stood up and started to run toward the road. I ran after him; and only could catch him when he stopped. Luckily that he stopped on the side walk, not on the middle of the road!

Watching him walked with his teachers and friends to the classroom behind the gate, I felt so sad and helpless. This is how my morning goes everyday, mostly depends on his mood on that day (today he was cranky), which draws all the energy from me. I really don’t mind doing the hard work, but the thought that he’d never get better, and I have to deal with this for the rest of my life really makes me feel down.