Lonely Boy

Tuesday 8:30 AM

Dropped William off at the daycare today, while I was sign up, he sat right next to the kid entrance door with the lunch bag next to him. So I came in, put his lunch back away and asked him to go outside to play. He said his belly hurt and wanted me to rub. So I told him to wait because I needed to replace his swim suit with the new set I bought from home. He followed me outside to the wooden shelve where they put the children’s swimming stuffs.

So I rubbed his belly; then he wanted to go to the restroom. He sat on the toilet for quite a bit. Then when he was done, I asked him to go outside but he refused. He sat down on the floor in the corner next to the restroom. I told him to go outside several times, finally he did but as soon as he got out of the door, he sat down on the ground! I told him to go sit on any chair because the ground is dirty. He refused to stand up; until I told him I’d rub his belly if he sits on the chair. That’s when he followed me to sit on the bench in the playground. I rubbed his belly a little bit more; but I needed to leave for work so I told him to continue sit there.

As soon as I stood up and turned my back about to leave, he went back inside and sat in that same corner! I came in to ask him again to go out and sit on the chair. “I want mama to go to work!” – he said.

I guess he wanted to be left alone.

Left is the restroom, right is the door to the play yard. He leaned on the door that leads to Yellow Bird Classroom.

I don’t mind if he sits by himself but the fact that he sat on the floor near the restroom really sadden me. Plus, he leaned on the door; what if someone opens the door then he’d get hurt! After 4 years at the same daycare, I thought he’d be better at this place but obviously nothing has changed. He acts the same way as did the first few months when he started going here.

I looked around, Ms. Rose Mary and Jennifer and the new teacher were busy outside with other kids; no one really paid attention to him.

I left the daycare with broken heart and tears on my eyes. What kind of a mom I am that I left my only son there feeling lonely and unhappy. But there’s really nothing I can do; unless I quit my job and stay home to take care of him. Finally, I can’t do that.

Closer look. He has been itchy a lot lately.

4 A.M!

William always has trouble sleeping at night; he usually falls asleep no sooner than 11:00 PM when he takes a nap at the day care. If no nap, he can fall sleep easily around 10:00 PM.

But today, it was 4:00 AM! This is the first time he slept that late. I recall he was jumping up and down on the old mattress that we moved to the bonus room; and he even walked on the trek mill with me. One would think all the activities would wear him out and he’d sleep easily but NO!

He had some caramel pop corn while jumping around; not sure if that’s the cause?