Bye Ms. Marilou – We’ll Miss You!

Dec 31, 2021 is the last day that Ms. Marilou will be with TasKids.  Can’t believe it has been 3 years!  She’s one of the best Behavioral Therapist that we’ve had.   William loves her; and they’re getting along really well.  I love that she introduced William to “1 mindful minute” where she played this video from YouTube and had William followed the instructor: sit down nicely with both hands on the knees with palms up.  With his eyes closed to listen to the instructor voice, he looked so cute and peaceful!

I still remember the first Xmas she was with us, she helped us assembled the bike that I bought for William for Xmas gift.   She’s always considerate and addressed our concern very seriously.

Too sad to see her go but if it’s for her best interest; we’re happy for her.  We wish you all the best and luck on your new adventures.

In the mean time, Thomas, our BCBA will take over Marilou session until they can find a new BT for William.

 

Social Group Is Suspended!

William’s compliance is getting worse so Jody/Elizabeth recommended that we stop sending William to social group on Saturdays.  So from 7/20/2019 the session with Brenda will be at home instead at TasKids office.

“William bad behaviors of not listening and taking toys away from his peers affect other children” – Jody said.

I felt sad when I heard that; I’m always hoping that with Social Group, he can improve his social skills and learn how to interact with other children; so that he’s less likely to sit in the corner all by himself.

Another reason that I want him to go to Social Group is because I think it’s more fun to have sessions outside of the house settings. They have all kind of activities like read book, craft, dance; and especially when there’s a birthday party, he get to have a balloon which he likes.

Now that the session is held at home, a 3 hour session is too long!

“We will resume Social Group when his’s compliance level is improved” – Jody continued.

With William’s current behaviors, I can see that date will not coming soon!

Updates:

8/7/2019 We’ve had 3 sessions with Brenda on Saturdays at home since the stop going to the TasKids office. I could see that William is not enjoying time with Brenda; I guess he’s simply just bored. So I’m trying to find any events near by that we can go so that the whole session doesn’t have to be at home.

Typical ABA Session

Currently, we have ABA sessions on M, W, F, from 5:30 PM – 7:30 PM. Mondays & Fridays we have Thomas as William’s BT. He’s been with us for about a year now. On Fridays we have Brenda; which is our new BT for about few months. Brenda is also responsible for Social Groups on Saturdays from 9:00 AM – 12:00 PM.

A typical ABA session at home would be Thomas/Brenda asking William what he wants to do or what game he wants to play. Most of the time I’d be cooking our dinner while listening to their conversations. Some times I sit down and watch them. We’re so lucky to have BTs who are patient and dedicated to their job.

ABA session with Thomas

Now it’s summer so some times we go out to the back yard and William plays in the trampoline. We also walk around the neighborhood to practice our goals of “Asking permission/Elopement”. William tends to run off to whatever he wants so the goal is for him to ask permission before he goes and to stay next to mom & dad when going out.

Handsome Boy

William rarely looks into anyone eyes. Eye contact is 1 of the goals in ABA sessions; we always try to ask him to look into our eyes when he asks questions but he never really does it. Some times it’s just a quick direct look but then he looks somewhere else.

This is 1 of the reasons why we can never get him to look at the camera when taking pictures. Another reason being he does not like to take picture.

I Want to Sleep At Home

1:00 PM

Picked William up at Martin Elementary School and dropped him off at Children’s World Preschool. While I was unbuckling, I said “Go in and sleep ok?”

“No!”, he said.

“Why Not?” – I was surprised.

“I want to sleep at home!” – I was a bit shocked because he’s never said that before.

It shows that he’s now trying to use words to express what he wants. Second, it means he’s actually thinking, he feels the difference between home and daycare.

“Mama has to go to work, so William sleeps at the daycare, ok?”

He did not say anything, looked like he was ok with that.

I’m happy and sad at the same time. Sad because we have no-one at home to watch him so that he can stay home; it’s only a 4 hours before we’re off work. Happy because my boy is growing up fast and his language skill is improved a lot. He observes more and talks more.

All the hard works actually pay off.

William has had ABA sessions since he was 2 years old: spend at least 3 hours a day with a therapist every day. While other children his age can learn simple things easily and naturally; he has to learn it over and over again so many times in order for him to get it. Lots of frustrations, tears and tantrums along the way, but I’m happy with the progress he has made.

There’s still lots of things William needs to improve and learn but regardless, I’m so proud of him!

Love you, Son!

ABA Hours Cut, Again!

Monday 5:30 pm. ABA session as usual with BT Thomas and PC Jody. Huy also came to go over the report that they will submit to the director. At the end Huy concluded that William has mastered most of the goals so he wanted to cut 6 hours more which means ABA sessions will be reduced to 3 days instead of 5 days per week. So we will only have 9 hours for ABA and 8 hours for PC, effective Mar 2019.

On July, 2018 Huy cut ABA hours from 24 hours / week to 17 hours/week , and then on Nov decided to not send BT to the day care; now 6 months later he reduced further to 9 hours/week. So that’s a total of 15 hours that he took away from us within a year. At this rate he will soon declare that William will no longer need ABA!

I understand that as William is mastering some goals and we would not need that many hours as before but cutting that many hours within less than 1 year is outrageous. I hope his decision is based on what is best for William, not because his ambition to graduate his client as soon as possible. William’s tolerance to No is no where near master but he marked it as Mastered! I’m just too tired to fight; mostly because I know for sure that I’d loose in this fight. He’s the supervisor and he has the final word.

As the supervisor, wouldn’t he know to add more goals to the list: he marked “Discontinue” for 20 goals but only adding 5 more safety goals, which I raised concern about. Other than that he doesn’t suggest any other goals, there must be some other goals that an autistic child need that we;re not aware of, as this is our first time being a parent.

I felt sad and helpless and speechless!

I’m trying to look at the bright side so that I’d not feel so down: maybe now that William will have some available time to take gymnastics or martial arts classes which are not offered on the weekends.

Social Group

With Huy’s decision of stop sending BT to daycare,  hearing about my concern about William’s social skill, he told me about the Social Group they have at the Orange office every Friday so we decided to join.   It’s from 9-11:45 PM every Saturday and with Anthony as our BT.

It is a group of about 7 children, each has their own BT, gathering around in a room.  The activities include circle time : the group organizer, Ms. T, sat in front of the children and called each child’s name, when a child is called by his/her name, he/she has to answer the question like “How old are you?  Everyone say Hi to William!” then she chose a story from a mobile device and read from it.

Then they went out to the front of the office just to feel the weather, it took about 5 minutes and went back to the room for Craft time. Everyone sat around the Half-Circle table and made the little black sheep using black papers, cotton balls and eyes.  William seemed to be fine sitting and making his sheep.

Then it was snack time: every one has to wash their hands first (in the kitchen near by the eating area).   They bought out their lunch boxes from the refrigerator and sat to eat for about 20 minutes.  When everyone almost done with their snack, Ms. T turned on the big TV in the eating room; William didn’t like the movie so he ran out of the room; Anthony had to chase after him.

After snack, they got to go outside to play bubbles.  Too bad there’s no playground or lawn, so the children play in the parking lot.  It’s kinda dirty there, especially when they sat on the ground.  William’s pants got so dirty!

Then everyone went back to the room, it’s free time to play. Children chose whatever toys they want to play.  William was paired up a with an older kid to play Uno.  They practiced “Your turn”, “My turn”.

The BTs always with the children all the time to help them.

Overall William seemed to be doing fine in this social group gathering.  I wish we know about this group sooner.  The main idea is to have the children learn how to interact with each other.

We planned to stay for whole session but Huy said it’s ok to watch today but next week, we can just drop him off and pick him up around 11:45 PM.

Waiting for Anthony; we were 10 minutes early but Huy was already there.

Back of the room is where they do Circle time and read books

Table used for Craft Activities

Other rooms in the office

Room across the room they’re in.

 

ABA Supervisor Decided Not to Send BT to Daycare

Wednesday 10:00 AM.  I texted Huy, the supervisor, about what happened at the daycare yesterday that Mr. Gary was so upset and wanted me to call him.  So Huy called me to talk about it.

Huy came with our new BT Anthony to the daycare yesterday (3:30 – 5:00 as schedule); Huy talked to Ms. Chastity and Ms. Angelina asking how was William doing without aid for the past 2 months.  They both said William has been doing great.  So Huy came to Mr. Gary and asked the same question.  At first Ms. Gary said it William is doing fine but then went on saying that William is talking deficit, and that William doesn’t want to play with other kids so Huy should set up some activities like small group to help William.  Huy replied that it’s not his job to do so; he and his staff are here just to support William, not to interrupt or pull William out of his daily schedule.    I think this is why Mr. Gary is mad because Huy would not take his advise and refuse to do so.

Then Huy concluded that it seems to him William doesn’t need any help at the daycare any more so he will not send BT to the day care!  I felt very sad about his decision; he only came for 1 and 1/2 hour and only based on the 2 teachers’ words who each has about 10 children to watch.

Dropped William at the daycare as usual, Mr. Gary was sitting in the yellow bird classroom, and gave me a signal that he wanted to talk.  So after I put William to his bed, I came to him.  He was very mad, “This is exact his words:  there’s nothing else I can do here”.  Mr. Gary referred to what Huy told him.   Mr. Gary was upset because he thought Huy’s quitting on William by decide not to have sessions at the daycare anymore so he suggested things that Huy still can do for William, like setting up the small group where William can learn to interact with other children but looked like Huy took it the wrong way: Huy said “He told me how/what to do my job!”.   I  explained to Mr. Gary that they’re here just to SHADOW William, they will not interfere or create opportunity because it’s not their job to do so; and Huy preferred natural settings.  Mr. Gary calmed down and he said, “If they’re here just to shadow then he’s right, William is fine here, he doesn’t need any help.”  Then Mr. Gary said “I should apologize to him”, I gave him Huy’s number, he called but Huy did not pick up; he left a message in Huy’s voice mailbox.

Then Mr. Gary turned to Ms. Chastitiy and another staff (?), “Is William lacking of anything that need to improve?”  They both said No; “William is very independent, he wakes up from his nap, put on his shoes, go to the play ground and play, doesn’t make any trouble at all.”  The only thing he needs to improve is Speech.  So they agreed that William doesn’t need any aid here.

Mr. Gary turned to me and said, “if there’s any tears these should be happy tears because William is at a different stage now”.    I agreed with him, William is so much different than he was 1 year ago before he has ABA sessions.  Of course I’m happy that he has growth so much but to say he doesn’t need any more help then I disagree.

I’m so touched that Mr. Gary did not think twice to argue with Huy to fight for William’s benefits.  Other daycare’s director would careless about an ABA supervisor’s decision.  From bottom of my heart, thank YOU Mr. Gary!  I know all you want is the best for all your children under your supervision at the daycare.

On the way driving back to work, I realized that it must be the daycare staffs’ words that influenced Huy’s decision.  They all said William is doing fine.  I just hope that what they said is true.  Although I’m very skeptical about that because to them if a boy doesn’t make any trouble, it means he’s doing fine.

Bottom line is that as a Mom, who knows his son the best, I still think William needs someone to encourage him to participate and socialize at the daycare; otherwise he’d be often stand or sit alone near the fence , just like when I dropped him off in the morning during last summer break.  When William has school in the morning, his time at the daycare is not that much so I would not worry about that too much; but when the school is off and he has to stay at the day care all day, it hurts me when I see him standing and holding on to the fence looking at my car as I drive away.  Other children at his age would just run off to his friends, say hi and play in the group.  Our boy would just stand there and watch with careless  and emotionless eyes.

I felt hopeless that I can’t convince Huy to change his mind.  He took over the case for only a few months; at first he cut the hours (we lost 7 hours/week)  and now plans to stop ABA sessions at the daycare, and based on what? Doesn’t he need to base on the ABC data to decide?   What would another mom do in this case?